i just saw facebook status updates and i swear i am so smitten with hq. haha. cute drummer and his status said 'to have and to hold and to never let go'.

Why nobody write this kind of status refering to me one. I am so jealous damn. Hahah.

So really, who am i to you?
Whats my status? Or am i just another one, just as how you are to me.
Or maybe. Not.


sweetheart, goodbye. Hello, stranger.

2:17 AM; unforgotten.Y

youre just another one,



Mr brightside.

5:03 PM; unforgotten.Y

congrats to sean and people for winning. Im happy for you.

Talking to sean made me feel very proud for him because i know how much he put into the competition. Yet it also made me feel as if i havent acheived much in my life.

Who do i know in the culinary circle? Who in the fnb industry knows who i am? I honestly think nobody.

And funnily enough, one of the biggest compliments i've ever gotten was 'i'd take you by my side anytime.' well, okay its not funny. Its just amazing for me if you see it from context.

I really think i ought to move on and do something about my life and stop being the useless bum that i am.

marcus always tell me that i need to know my strengths and weaknesses but honestly, i can only see my flaws. I really dont know what my strengths are. I can't think of anything where im better than most people.

I cant cook all that well. My creativity is limited. I hate people. Im not that nice a person.

All my life, ive just been blessed. I have friends even though im a misfit. jobs fall into my hands without even trying.
Take sip, it was all thanks to lionel. And amazingly marcus even took me in, after rejecting 23 others. 1week left to completing my stint and marcus hasnt attempted to fire me or anything. Haha. im blessed with a nice working environment, great boss whos like a dad, coolios colleagues. And for the few nice customers whom ive met. I mean, sure i agve up alot for this internship but it has also showed me who the really good friends are and who are the ones who matter.

If i do have a strength, i would say its faith. The ability to believe things would be fine.
And my other strength? Being nothing short of His blessings,

Thank you.
dear god. Please make me a better person.


Xoxoxo

3:34 AM; unforgotten.Y

yanoe, i think i get really contented by the slightest things. I find it quite amusing. How i can be the most anal person in the world and yet still find joy in the simplest things.

Take today for example, i was feeling horribly miserable about being deaf cos of my ear infection and edric just randomly called to say hello. I was happy. And throughout the entire of dinner service, i was in such a good mood,

Its just the random acts of that make me happy. And i thank god that someway or another eddie and i actually became closer friends despite being out of supperclub already. Hes been there and he always appears when i need someone. Hes such a daddy. Gummy bears in pairs so they wont feel lonely in his tummy. =)

Wendy and i have started planning for our trip. Its to bangkon right now! Hooray. I hope nonno can get us good hotel deals. Yay.

And to seanie, all the best for tobasco!


Xoxoxo

1:05 AM; unforgotten.Y

thanks to ben whom thanks to roy, im addicted to patron tequila. Its my song of the moment and its annoying. Because it is soooo annoying. Haha.

Sometimes love comes around, and they knock you down.

So anyway eggy was helping me update my playlist and all his songs are rnb-ish. Walao ehhhh, and im like 'got elektroo?' reply straightaway was 'no.' moral of the story, cannot go party together evrn tho they always ask me. Haha.


By the way, i think you're no different from all the others. Cos you just walk out whenever, all the time.

7:38 AM; unforgotten.Y

just a random rant.

Why do people keep popping in and out? Can't i have constant figures in my life.

And for the ones who supposedly are constant figures, i do need the reassurance that hey, you are a constant.

Very happy i got story by paul smith at only 40bucks today. And no, i havent used the one wendy got for my birthday. Hahaha.
so right now, i've got a new btl of polo black, polo sport, dkny be delicious and 2 btls of story to use! Hoho.

And my ear is hurting as hell. Maybe cos today im off and not busy so its like more obvious. The oast couole of weeks have been busy so the pain wasnt as strikingly obvious. Ohwell.
Hope its no big deal.

Has anyone told you how excited i am looking forward to 1st august? Well, i am. Thinking of partying then sunday brunch with my fav girlies. Then monday to wed bintan then evening pizza party then club at night. Then choir concert on thurs. Walao eh, happening to the maximumz. Can't wait can't wait.

oh and i am officially tired of being part of someone's messed up life and yet being a nobody in it. Time to turn away.
Distance is good.

1:55 AM; unforgotten.Y

i think the more i try to be a good person, the more likely i hurt some people. I wouldnt say they are dead damn important to me, perhaps not even the slightest bit. But knowing for a fact that i am hurting someone just irks me to no end.

So perhaps its about time i walked away. It'll be good to see if the one in question would follow on behind, try to hold on. It'll be nice to know how much i truly mean.

And funny how i feel like a detour. One that people around me makes all the time. They never truly walk out but on a random occasion, they pop right back inand then ask if you're still around. Good friends eh?



Amda

4:40 AM; unforgotten.Y

i think we're all afraid to know the truth. How we would rather live in denial that all's well, all's good, all is what we would like it to be.

moulin rouge.

Love's not enough,
Especially when its not concrete.
Love's not enough when you're just some fly by.





He slept the summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still i dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot whether

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell im living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream i dreamed

1:32 AM; unforgotten.Y

im so tired today. im dozing off as i do the accounts shit.

so here i am to revive this darn place that is as good as lost in the massive world wide web.

i had probably, one of the most brilliant dinners ever last night at absinthe. the food was amazing, and service was great. ambience was lovely. though company could have been better (well, it wasgood company, its just that i dont like making dinnertable conversations with people i aint close to) so yes. lauren, i hope your 27th was a blast.

and i hate poems btw.

oh and i hate this part right here.

and offcially, 24more days. just twentyfour. can't believe ive survived that long. im glad.

next, to bintan.

shall email yann now. i hope shes loving the germans.
and i cant wait for today to end so i can go home and sleep.

4:44 PM; unforgotten.Y