i hate how death takes the people closest to you away.
but maybe sometimes, its just selfishness on our part you know?

just so you know, if one day you disappearred, i would crumble completely.
and i would feel as if a part of me got ripped out.
i dont think i could ever deal with it.
so please don't go.

i love you.

1:09 AM; unforgotten.Y

ive been feeling so indifferent of late its so terribly unhealthy.

then again, i am typically indifferent to everything.
other than to the things that concern me and the people i love directly/indirectly.

its like a drug that eats you. you soon start to realise you dont give a shit about anyone else outside the comfort zone.

as we grow up, we make friends and we lose them.
sometimes people walk out of our lives and at other times, we choose to leave.
the people whom i call friends gets fewer and fewer. and the ones i forget, more and more.

people who were once close friends no longer exist. and while i think it is kinda sad.

i am happy.

happy that i have the ones who stayed. for the ones i never did walk out on, they've remained. and it was their choice.

thank you for choosing to be my friend.
even though you know how horribly crazy i am. or how dry my sense of humour is. or how boring i really am as a person. thank you for not only doing word searches with me, but buying them for me and/or snatching the book away from me so you can have it all to yourself. thank you for always surprising me with little things because you know i like them. and thank you for loving me for who i am though i am sucha social misfit. thank you for partying with me and not ever taking advantage of the privilages i share with you. thank you for taking care of me whenever i get all pukey after drinking on an empty stomach. thank you for never judging. thank you for letting me be your friend.

to the people whom ive given my heart to, i trust yall to hold it and keep it. such that one day, even if my boyfriend chooses to dump me, i know i'll never be alone and my heart will not break into pieces because i've got yall to keep it together.

yup, love is giving someone the power to break your heart but trusting them not to.

i know yall would never hurt me. not intentionally atleast.

you know who you are,
i love you.

10:05 PM; unforgotten.Y

i just thought of kim wee, and so i went to his facebook page. while i still think him leaving us is completely unfair, i think its nice to see how he still remains in the memories of so many.

i believe its the exact same thing for mccoy. just a couple of days, botak posted a fb status about him.

lets hope kim wee, mccoy and neha are doing well wherever they are. im sure they're in a better place.



life's been treating me well so far.
im losing weight and i dont like that.
i am grateful for the people around me and i miss them so much.
vietnam with the family was good. g came to get us from the airport and he survived dinner with us!
genting was great. weather was so awesome. and ofcos i heart strawberry farm. <3

i can't wait to get a job, get money, and start pampering people again. ive exhausted all my secret stash of moolah already. yes, even those from supperclub days. spent it all on the trip.
im just lucky someone's been supporting me. i am so broke i kinda have to think 3 times before i decide if i even want to catch a movie. yes, its that bad. im gonna try to get my room in order (i know ive been procrastinating) and yeah, get a job somewhere, anywhere. and woohoo.

methinks, i'll actually pack my roomie now.

oh oh oh, and vivienne westwoods are so chio! i cant wait to get my hands on them when i get moolah.

love you.

8:56 PM; unforgotten.Y