the weekend has been good.

friday, met up with my two favs for a whole entire day of shopping. gosh. so unhealthyyyy. hahah. oh and koi bubbletea is sooooo over rated and sooooooo over priced. gahhh.
friday night, random meetup with my bb seanie. just to pass him his rubbish ive been keeping since like, a year ago? hahah. but it was so good to see your face again love. i forgot how you looked like. see you soon <3

saturday, chilled out for the day with boyf.
saturday night, crazy 'light' drinks session at loof. good times. and even though the boyf and i used to work together in a club and he makes me drinks at home, it was the first time we ever went out for drinks together. haha. good times good times.

sunday, slacked and teeveed and slept.
sunday night, supper with the boys and zen.

forgot my phone and left it at ed's. i feel so naked without it. boooo.

i start work on wednesday. lets hope i like it there. if not its just gonna be another hit and run. hahah. have a feeling i'll do fine though. heh.

i think im really blessed because i get jobs really easily. it practically requires nothing on my part usually. and so many times i just walk into the place and walkout with a job on the spot. im really thankful for that.

listening to tiesto right now and man, i wish he comes to singapore soon enough so i can actually party with the man himself. his gigs always look so awesome, it just makes me want to get high and swayyyyy. if you get what i mean.

we walk by the ting tings reminds me of a certain someone whom i used to take long walks with last time. haha. those were the days.

sighhh brit pop is <3 cos im listening to the ting tings and the pipettes again. hurhur.

listening to emo songs make me happppy. not in the psycho bitch kinda way but just very at peace with myself.
i am definitely going to put look after you by the fray on my wedding playlist.

as you can prolly guess, yes, i am youtubing right now. thus the very different genres of music.

on a side note, yiruma's quite good looking yar? with short hair.

bella's lullaby will be on the wedding playlist too. i absolutely love that piece of music. i dont find robert pattinson hot tho. maybe cos uh. when i first read twilight, the picture of edward i had in my head was supposedly drop. dead. gorgeous. well. hes a vamp right. hahahaha.
but emmett cullen (kellan lutz). HE IS HOT STUFF. SHIT. I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM WHEN I WATCHED TWILIGHT. HAHAHAHA. SO YUMS.
okay, gush over.

it is now 5half am in the morning. time to prep to go to ed's place to pick up my phone. i just want to get a ride frommy sissy thats why.

TEAM EMMETT FOREVERRRRR
oh wait, i meant,
TEAM ED(ric) FTW!
hahahaha

loveyou bye.

3:47 AM; unforgotten.Y

i feel awful today.

i want to get away from everyone and everything. i want to sit somewhere secluded and be alone.

i have the intense urge to just buy a ticket and go look for ari in australia.

i want to go to a place where no one else knows me.



i think im in that state where i would like to be left alone for abit. to be away from the people i supposedly love. because. ive no idea. i feel as if my patience with everyone special in my life is thinning and i need to get away from it all before i explode and say mean things and scream hurtful words.

maybe its whats been happening. how everyone else seems to only care about themselves. they seem to have forgotten that there are other people who are affected by their actions. that i am a part of the clique too and hello, no ones thinking about how im feeling or what my opinions really are because they're too caught up in their issues with the rest of the world.

im trying my best to accomodate everybody? im trying to spend the time with the people i love. im trying to be productive. im trying to be a good friend to one and a good friend to the others.

i am tired. and i am tired of trying.

i think i need to find new friends. i need to go out there.

unless i have already made plans with you this week, dont ask me out.
unless you are a certain few i dont mind hanging out with, i wont bother responding.
i am completely utterly uninterested in seeing everyone else other than 3 girls and a boy.






will be missing in action for the next week or so i figure. wish me well.

au revoir.



pms? possibly.
but i am sick of people forgetting to be objective, rational and uh, whats that word? nice?

7:48 PM; unforgotten.Y

theres a sick kid in the house, and its not me.

btt tomorrow. lets hope i pass.

looking at holiday to hongkong now.

flea ytd and i spent so much. boyf bought me a vest from dawn yang. HAHAH.

thinking of getting a canon slr at 100bucks.

i wish money would drop from the sky.

i hope a part time job pops up along the way.

im happy that ive got you.

solong farewell iloveyou

1:46 PM; unforgotten.Y

ed's at the gym and im waiting for him to get back so we can have a nice lunch in this oh-so-beautiful rainy weather and then get sent home cos of the seemingly endless amount of shopping i did the day before.

i can't wait to get home and just get down to reorganising my roomie into the boxes i bought from ikea and then sewing little coasters for people who visit and leave their drinks lying around.

im also real glad sheri's back from bali because that means, soon enough, we could go out and snap some photos.

meeting the girlies on sat for a flea market and perhaps partying in the night. awesome stuff. sad i'd miss beerfest with the other bunchiekins.

ive been having really unsound sleep of late. maybe i should start drinking earl grey before bedtime next time. hmmm.

im hoping july comes soon cos ed and the boys are intending to head to chalk for their barbee and brunch special and i think going with them would be fun fun fun. im still craving for steamboat. someone take me out please?

and in search of part time job. flexible, good pay and if possible, adds to my resume. no, no service.
i should go become one of those frolick girls yeah? stand there, press a button, get paid, and not have to do any cleaning etc. the most ironic thing in the world? THEY ACT LIKE THEIR JOB IS THE HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD. like gosh, you get paid for practically doing nothing and everything you walk past a frolick counter, they're slumped all over. AND. its like you owe them a living when you want to buy something.
okay, rant on frolick girls over.

maybe maybe maybe, i'd try where miao's working at. but geeeez. pay would be the lowest ive ever gotten if i do go for it.

CAN I BE A SCOOPY PLEASE ^^
(i hear patsy scream. HAHAHAH)

okay, off to read lolita now. byebye.

12:16 PM; unforgotten.Y

for the first time in my life, i feel as if i have a tiny piece of the childhood that i never got to have as a kid.

sure, i had my mesak mesak and i had play doh and all that stuff, but i wasn't one of those with all the 'latest' games and what nots.

i bought myself a stack of uno cards today. never had them before.
and i bought cluedo too.
i also got myself monopoly deal to add to the newest monopoly (uses credit cards and all) su got me for my birthday and the travel monopoly beejay got me from last xmas.
i never once owned a monopoly boardgame to call my own as well. haha.
i decided to get boggle slam, the card version of boggle cos i thought i could play it with mummy since she was wondering where our boggle set went to and since ed said it was one of his favourite games.

i think i so willingly spent on these stuff today cos i think i have people i can play them with. i know i can always cluedo with su and sherms. and ed and i spent over 3 hours checking out my new monopoly set on my birthday.
monopoly deal and uno? always the people from gap.
i like how i can do seemingly mundane and boring stuff with the people im close to. never got the chance when i was younger cos my family just wasnt the whole 'ohhh lets sit down and have a boardgame session' type. ahwells. friends are the family you had a choice in getting right?

as weird as it sounds, i think im gonna make sure my family spends time playing stupid games like that together. its important. i want my kids to have fun and its something they would remember, just like how i remember my daddy playing snakes and ladders with me.

ed and i were clearing out his cupboard earlier and he started showing me all his comic books and figurines he collected. like a small boy. haha. i hope he gets home soon so i can try out monopoly deal with him. yay.

xoxo. love you.

10:21 PM; unforgotten.Y

today, my boyfriend winked at me as he was walking off to get drinks for us.

i know im gonna cringe if i see this in future and we're no longer together.

but that made my heart skip a beat.



must be love.

12:56 AM; unforgotten.Y

honestly, i think doing the things that make you happy are the hardest. in everything we do, we somehow see all the flaws. and when we know what the problem is, we choose to either avoid it or just go out there and solve it. its so easy to do the things that hurt us, or the things that don't bring you joy... because i think somehow, we just find ourselves in that position and sticking with circumstances or choosing to hold on is so much easier because we are comfortable.

work has made me feel this way.

its only been 3 work days, but ive decided that i should perhaps move on. you have no idea how much i thought about it. and you have no idea how much sleep ive lost over it. i gave myself 10 million reasons to stay. and i gave myself 10 million reasons to go. but ultimately, all those 20 million reasons, well. they werent the single deciding factor.

the single thing that made me finally come to a conclusion, was happiness.

i got a job not because anyone was pressuring me to, but because i felt useless during my 'holiday'. i also needed moolah, and i wanted to gain some experience and kill time till application for uni and all started. that reason to find a job, was wrong, maybe not for anyone else, but for myself. because i wasn't ready.

i wasnt ready because i had a whole list of things i planned to do for myself. i wanted to do all the things that i wouldnt be able to do in future when i was really working - not only because its a want, but cos its a need - because of bills and expenses. i want to go out there and learn new things, learn how to bike and how to blade. i wanted to take up language courses and kickboxing. i wanted to try out new things in the kitchen and make the money i spent on all my cookbooks and pasta machine and mixer worth the money. i wanted to attend concerts. i wanted to get my driving license. i wanted to pursue the things i've always been interested in but never had a chance to do, like photography.

sure, im 20 and thats old - enough to think for my future. i do think about my future. i do think about what i want in life. and i know what i want. im just not ready to go out there and pursue it right now because im still young. i have my whole life ahead of me to work, to get money, to become wiser. i definitely dont think i'd have a problem with getting a good job and doing a good job. but when i start working my guts out, would i have the time for the people i love? or time to do the things that once made me happy?

i could still choose to stick on withmy job. its not a bad job. and yes, i agree there are so many prospects ahead. it would be something im serious about in the future. not that im not serious about it now, but i dont want to have a job where i drag myself up everyday for. its going to be that way for me right now.

the whole problem started because i just decided to try it out for fun. i didnt put time into thinking.
shasha approached me, and i said okay.
the next day was my interview.
and i got the job on the spot.

the end full stop.

i didnt even have time to consider.

so kiddies, always consider.

wish me luck.

and for all those whom i annoyed with my problem. and for all those who talked and talked and talked to me. for all those who listened to me whine and bitch and exclaim and rant, i thank you. sincerely.

love you.

10:26 AM; unforgotten.Y